Week 1 — Full Presence
I give every person my full presence.
This week's idea: most people listen only to plan what they will say next. Real listening is rare, so people notice it and love it. Presence is the root of every other skill.
Read: The Charisma Myth, chapters on presence.
Phrases this week
- Tell me more about that.
- What happened next?
- So what you're saying is...
- How did you feel about that?
- I hadn't thought of it that way.
Daily prompts
| Day | Prompt (in a real conversation) | English drill |
|---|---|---|
| Mon | Phone away, face the person. In one conversation, don't check your phone once. | Think in English: describe your morning out loud, simple actions only. |
| Tue | Ask one follow-up question about what someone just said, before talking about yourself. | 🎙 Record: "Introduce yourself to someone you just met." |
| Wed | Learn one person's name and use it once in the conversation. | Use "Tell me more about that" in a real conversation. |
| Thu | Notice when your mind jumps to your own reply. Bring it back to their words. Do this 3 times. | Think in English during your commute: describe what you see. |
| Fri | Repeat back what someone said in your own words: "So what you're saying is..." | 🎙 Record: "Tell the story of your week so far." |
| Sat | Have one 10-minute conversation where you talk less than half the time. | Shadow a TED talk for 15 min (longer session today). |
| Sun | Weekly review. How did people respond when you were fully present? | Write 5 sentences in English about what you learned this week. |
Going deeper (second round)
Hold full presence in a group conversation, not just one-to-one. Notice who is quiet and invite them in.